When you insist on treating your friend

Hufflepuff: my friends
Ravenclaw: I trust one person the most
Gryffindor: myself
Slytherin: who I consider family

I periodically feel so fucking sad for women in history. I feel like birth control in countries where it is widely used has made women forget an aspect of male cruelty and sociopathy that is now less apparent (giving the illusion that men have improved when only women’s defences against men have)—the fact that for most of history men could live with a woman for decades and not care that they were slowly killing her with endless back-to-back pregnancies which not only resulted in early death more often than not, but also in a total smothering of the woman’s spirit and talents. I saw a quote by Anne Boyer the other day that called straight relationships for women “not only deadly, but deadening”—as I was reading Jill Lepore’s Book of Ages, a biography of Benjamin Franklin’s sister Jane, who was bright and loved reading and wrote some poetry, but had little time to make anything of her life in between her 12 pregnancies. Benjamin Franklin’s mother had 10 sons and 7 daughters. What could they possibly accomplish when their husbands kept impregnating them year after year after year throughout their entire adult life?
Charlotte Brontë eschewed marriage longer than most (writing to Ellen Nussey that she wished they could just set up a little cottage and live together) but she finally married at 38, became pregnant, and died before her 39th birthday. If she had married younger would Jane Eyre exist? I was reading that biography of Charity & Sylvia last month and comparing their life together in their little cottage to the life of their married female relatives, which was honestly hell on earth. One of Charity’s sisters had 18 children. Charity’s mother had 10 living ones, and probably some additional stillbirths. She gave birth to her first child age 19, in 1758, then to a pair of twins in 1760, then another child in 1761, another in 1763, another in 1765, another in 1767, another in 1769, another in 1771, another in 1774, another in 1777. Charity was the last child and her mother had been sick with tuberculosis for months when she became pregnant with her, and she died soon after giving birth.
I wish people would call this murder—this woman was murdered by her husband, like countless other women who do not ‘count’ as victims of male violence because straight sex is natural, pregnancy is natural, childbirth is natural. But when after 20 years of nonstop pregnancies this woman had tuberculosis and suffered from severe respiratory distress, severe weight loss, fever and exhaustion, and her husband impregnated her again, her death was expected. He must have known; he just didn’t care. This woman’s sister—Charity’s aunt—remained a spinster and outlived all of her married sisters by several decades, living well into her eighties. (Ironically, male doctors in her century asserted that sex with men was necessary for women’s health. The biographer quoted from a popular home health guide which said that old maids incurred grievous physical harm from a lack of sex with men.) And this aunt had the time and liberty to develop her skill for embroidery to such an extent that two museums still preserve her embroidered bed drapes. She accomplished something, she nurtured her talent and self. Her name was also Charity, and I find it interesting that Charity’s mother named her last daughter, whose pregnancy & birth killed her, after her childless, unmarried sister.
When I see women reblog my post about Sophia Tolstoy’s misery with her 13 children, adding comments like “thank god marriage is no longer synonymous with this”, I wonder if they realise that men have not magically become any kinder or more concerned about their female partner’s health and fulfillment, it’s just that women now have access to better ways of protecting themselves from their male partner’s indifference to their health and fulfillment.
Interesting theory. In my studies ( I am a history major) I was taught the reason why many women had many pregnancies was because of high infant mortality rate during the time, so they wanted to have as many children as possible because more than likely many of them would not make it to adulthood. Also birth control was not widely known or accepted. This would be an interesting theory to research and to find and cite sources, but I would admit it would be very difficult to find sources that prove men were consciously forcing women to get pregnant in order to suppress them. However you might be able to prove that women who were not married or had children were more successful (you would have to define what it means to be successful) than women who were married and had children. This was a very eye opening read, something that never occur to me and would like to see further research.

Coming into a fandom early and watching it become an angry clusterfuck

Being in a dormant fandom that suddenly comes alive again after a new book/movie

Don’t forget about those who come in the midst of a fandom war.

Accuracy at its best
Being in a fandom and not even knowing there’s a war going on…

all of this shit…lol
When You’re Not In The Fandom But You’re Nosy AF

When you get into a fandom only to discover it’s dead

This gets better every time I see it.
Being in a dead fandom…

Or being in such a tiny fandom that it feels like youre the only one

The accuracy hurts.
Being in a fandom that had a shit ending.

When you’ve been fangirling long enough, you’ve experienced all of the above.
Being in a fandom meant for kids.

This just gets better..
When you realize that joining the fandom has ruined you

Fandom hell in general

Yes.
This^^^ just… ALL OF THIS.
Being in so many fandoms that you don’t even know what’s going on

THIS IS THE SKULDUGGERY FUCKING PLEASANT FANDOM IN ONE POST!!
Trying to recruit people to your fandom

Annnnnnndddd it’s back
Being in a fandom which has so many antis

I’ve probably reblogged this before, but that was before these great additions.
Being in a fandom that actually works together

Why is this so true? All of it.
being in a fanbase but all your mutuals suddenly turn into Kpop blogs

I always enjoy it when a good post comes around again and has been improved by the reblogs like the years for a fine wine.
Being in a fandom when shit goes down and everyone has different opinions


When you are in a fandom and don’t care for others people opinion…..even if they are right…(believe me, I have met several of those)

Being in a fandom you never meant to join
I love this. and it’s gotten better

After abandoning a fandom you’re still a little bit emotionally invested in….
All of these are me. Lol
Being in a fandom on Tumblr

And it reached its epic conclusion